I thought that I recognized the name. Although I don’t recall whether I heard Mort Fertel on the radio or had seen him on a television interview, I have a definite memory of him offering marriage advice. As his approach in tackling marriage problems is rather novel and a departure from traditional marriage counseling, I just had to find out more about this man and his work. The culmination of my research is this Marriage Fitness review. It’s my fervent hope that by broadcasting his messages that I serve my readers well, and in some small way, help them turn dissatisfying marriages on their ear. Indeed, you may start planting fertile (or should I say, Fertel) soil that can make your union blossom.
In order to successfully encapsulate Mort’s ideas, I thought it would be instructive to review Mort’s principle marital philosophies that he generously shares in his product line. You’re going to have a lot of ‘A ha’ moments but my evaluation can only scratch the surface. There is so much learning and changing you need to do. Notice how I emphasis the word, ‘you,’ and not your spouse – at least not yet – to introduce a very important ‘Fertelism’ – look within.
Here are the different sections of my Marriage Fitness review:
Marriage Fitness Review – It Starts With You
When problems surface, we tend to look for blame. We assign the party responsible, create a list of all their wrongdoings, and reasons why the guilty should be shunned and punished.
Many spouses point the finger at their significant other, counting all the ways that they’ve contributed to the weakening of the marriage bond.
Seldom, we look within and see what we’re doing to contribute to the issue. It may seem easy to cast stones against a spouse who has engaged in an extra-marital affair, for example, but what actions (or inaction) did we perpetrate to lead this development to occur.
I’m not looking to blame the so-called victim in this circumstance. But in the absence of judges, juries, and executioners, I’m just wondering whether the so-deemed ‘innocent party’ played a role in any weakening or dissolution of the relationship.
And so is Mort Fertel. The basis of any healthy marriage starts with a strong individual foundation and taking responsibility for mistakes we may intentionally or inadvertently make.
There are so many relationship gaffes that we all make. Consider the following as only a partial list:
– We don’t make time to talk to our significant other
– We’re very impatient in our communication
– We don’t make the other person a priority
– We become invisible to them, sometimes refusing to answer calls or barely acknowledging when they come home from work
– We make rude comments to our partner – even in public
– We’re in incessant criticism mode and seldom acknowledge our partner’s unique strengths
– We gossip about our spouses
– We show our dissatisfaction in so many non-verbal ways, too (e.g., a disapproving look, an eye roll, etc.).
There are so many other ways where we show our spouse that he/she is not a priority and that our love and gratitude is better displayed elsewhere.
In the Marriage Fitness Program, Mort Fertel shows you how everything can change so radically and fast by following his relationship tips. For instance, a surprise present, even a small one, sets a tone that can lead to better times.
It’s About the Connection, not the Communication
Communication between spouses is important. There’s no denying that loving, respectful, and open dialogue can cement any bond.
But one of the platforms in the Marriage Fitness program is that connection begets improved communication, and not necessarily the other way around.
Sure thoughtful communication can prevent some marital problems and assuage others, but it’s not necessarily going to draw you two together.
What will serve as the glue of connection? Mort Fertel recommends a suite of suave maneuvers, but one suggestion is simply to give … and give with open hands and an open heart. Towards that end, we can be more affectionately demonstrative with our partner. A touch on the shoulder, a warm embrace, and a passionate kiss can go far.
Many husbands and wives get into the habit of losing intimacy. But giving oneself sexually and lovingly can easily send the right message that the other person is important.
But most giving is done outside of the bedroom. For instance, Marriage fitness entails freeing up time for our spouses, performing chores so they don’t have to manage so much on their plate.
When our partners are besieged with emotional challenges, are we there for them? Do we really free up our time so that the other person feels he/she has a confidante.
Again, giving respect and modeling respect is a wonderful way of planting the seeds of respectful reciprocity. We really have to watch what we say (back to the art of communication) but once we really attach and connect to our loved ones, talking in a loving, sensitive manner will seem like a breeze.
Remember your courtship? It wasn’t so much that your communication was ideal, it was that your connection was so intense.
In Mort Fertel’s books and audios, he provides a myriad of ways to reconnect with our partners. Fit, sustainable marriages all have one thing in common: Partners that really feel an inseparable bond with one another where they’re sharing heart and soul on a consistent basis.
Getting to Know You – Marriage Fitness Requirement
Remember the old Newlywed Game? Couples would participate in a game show to demonstrate how much (or how little) they knew about each other. The vast majority often demonstrated that they were clueless about their partner’s interests, aptitudes, desires, and thought processes.
But even long-term marriages don’t necessarily suggest that partners know each other any better. Yes, we think we know all about our husbands and wives, but the reality is that we’re missing vital information.
Do you know your spouse’s favorite restaurants? Do you know what gifts would most appeal to them? Do you know the type of vacation your spouse truly prefers? Are you aware of your spouse’s favorite books? (Marriage Fitness will be one of them.)
Some of these questions may appear insignificant and trivial but the underlying point is how can we give to our one and only when we don’t know what they really want? Calling up your spouse, and making plans to that favorite restaurant will help foment the idea you’re not only spontaneous but thoughtful.
And you don’t have to wait for special occasions to manifest giving. Done on a daily basis, your benevolence will pay off and be reciprocated one way or another – in the short term and the long term.
Yes, I hear you, there may be exceptions to this rule. But if you’re reading this Marriage Fitness review, somewhere within you believes that favorable changes can take place and that your marriage can turn around.
So really get to know all about your loved one. And if there are things about him/her you don’t know, simply ask. You’re spouse will appreciate that they’re center stage, and that you’re concentrating on them.
Healthy Marriages Require Joint Decision-Making
You heard of the platitude, there is no ‘I’ in ‘Team.’ And similarly, there is no ‘Me’ in ‘We.’
Once you commit to marriage, you’re committing to the idea that decision-making will be a collaborative process. You don’t speak for one another; you speak to each other and figure out what to do.
Of course, I’m not referring to all judgments and decisions like which brand of orange juice to buy. But you would be surprised how many key decisions are made by one spouse without even consulting the other. It’s time to get on the same page.
Mort expounds on this idea extensively in his work. If one partner feels that he/she has no voice in the marriage, no say in important decisions, that person is going to feel slighted, ignored, and resentful. These are not the ingredients towards a fit, prosperous marriage.
This is no time to remain in the same dance that has left both partners feeling exhausted. Change the steps and have a meeting of the minds.
Lucky in Love or is it a Conscious Choice?
“He’ll never change.’ ‘She will always find something to criticize.’ ‘He never even cares what I have to say.’ ‘She is just a nag.’
We put our spouses in confining categories, and never believe that change is possible. We feel stuck in the status quo, believing that there is no way to alter a universe that has conspired against us.
Mort Fertel has a message: Love is a choice. You chose to love your partner once. History can repeat itself and wedded bliss does not just have to be a wishful dream but can be a reality you create.
But you have to give up fantasizing about a life with someone else. Remember, all relationships have their ebb and flow, and it’s impossible for unbridled honeymoon happiness to last forever. Problems inevitably surface, disagreements arise, and your back to square one.
Therefore, Mort advises us to figure out how to love the person we’re with, and suspend any mind games where we tell ourselves it would be so much better with someone else.
Holy matrimony entails some sacred work. But first you have to invest in the idea that this work is all-important and that it will pay dividends beyond your imagination.
Yes, people evolve or regress, and perhaps finding the good in your significant other is not as easy as it once was at the time of your nuptials. But you can look harder, look at yourself, refuse to look for romantic love anywhere else and make a choice to find common ground.
Marriage Fitness Exercise – Give Up Ridiculous Platitudes
‘I love him but I’m not in love with him.’ ‘I love her but I’m not in love with her.’ From this moment on, as a loyal Marriage Fitness disciple, you’re going to strike these words from your lips forever.
This is similar to making a choice. You realize that being in love is a state of connection and a state of mind – something that is definitely possible with someone you already purportedly love.
Mort Fertel believes that those who utter that declaration are making a distinction between caring for their partner, but lacking passion and romantic interest in that partner. But we also interlink a level of excitement with love.
Think of it. When we meet someone we regard as very attractive, we may become excited, and perhaps think that we’re ‘in love’ with this person. But it’s really a combination of exuberance and libido that are clouding our judgments as to what love constitutes.
But according to the Marriage Fitness system, love is not necessarily a feeling but action. By cultivating sound relationship habits, you show love, you do love, and become in love.
This makes sense to me. When we spend more quality time with our significant other, for instance, thoroughly engaged with those we love, emotional intimacy arises. The bonds of matrimony become stronger.
Forgive Past Transgressions – It’s the Future That Counts
When you’re angry with your spouse, do you hold on to it for long periods of time? Is it impossible for you to get over grudges where monogamy becomes threatened?
Although it sounds simultaneously simplistic and impossible, you have to forgive past wrongdoings if you’re going to stay in the marriage. You can’t grant forgiveness but still feel bitterness in your heart, and act accordingly.
Perhaps the transgressions can serve to foment better understanding and respect between you. It can lead the way to clearer expectations and a stronger marital commitment.
Of course, this is easier said than done. But part of successful marriage fitness is mental fitness. And you have to let go, and let bygones be bygones — even for your own sanity of mind.
This is why Mort Fertel asserts that so many marriage counseling programs fail where the participants are still unhappy. Past transgressions are reviewed to death, and through overkill analysis, new relationship patterns are hard to develop.
Why Should You Listen to Mort Fertel?
Mort Fertel is the author of Marriage Fitness: 4-Steps to Building & Maintaining Phenomenal Love.
The principles and happy marital building blocks that I’ve outlined in this Marriage Fitness review are not mine, but Mort Fertel’s. He is a seasoned and successful marriage coach as he has helped scores of folks regain matrimonial bliss.
He has appeared numerous times on television as stations such as CBS, NBC, and Fox value his insightful perspectives on the institution of marriage. He has also been interviewed by many radio stations, and his work has been featured in a variety of journals and magazines, such as Psychology Today.
His prolific appearances underscore the groundswell of support that his marital tips, tricks, and strategies receive. He expresses his ideas with passion and clarity. Here is one of my favorite Mort Fertel quotes:
“Communication has very little to do with techniques or knowledge of each other. It has everything to do with the depth of connection between the communicators.”
It’s easy to see why Mort Fertel is the ‘go-to marriage coach,’ and how his programs can be a viable alternative to marriage counseling. Of interest, his Marriage Fitness system is universally endorsed by the same marriage counselors, therapists, and relationship experts that his program can replace.
Marriage 911 – Participate in 1:1 Private Sessions With Mort
Mort Fertel lives in Baltimore, Maryland so he won’t be accessible to most clients. But when you need his expertise, Mort is only a phone call away.
You’ll schedule a time to have a telephone conference with him, and he will review an assortment of techniques with you that should prove transformational. You can speak at length about the obstacles that you’re facing.
But the time he allocates won’t center so much on what has happened in the past. He focuses his attention on how to foster change in the hear and now, and ensure this positive shift in marital mindset will continue going forward.
He charges $625 for an hour’s consultation, not surprising with someone of his background, experience, and expertise.
If you can swing it financially, Mort also offers house calls. You’ll spend a day with Mort where he will get your marriage back on track by using his tremendous insight and clever bonding exercises. He should help you to see your relationship problems in an entire different light.
Tele-Boot Camp – Boot Camp Workout
Fitness programs should entail workouts and tele-boot camp can be described in this manner.
Think of it as a series of 7 tele-seminars that will systematically help you restore intimacy with a partner. Mort is our friendly host, delivering pearls of wisdom by phone. To enrich the experience, there is also a live Q&A after the 4th tele-seminar where Mort will address specific concerns.
You’ll examine destructive patterns that are getting in the way (they’re just habits that can be eradicated). You’ll also explore how to get over past hurts, restore trust and communication, control emotions and fight fairly, and so much more. The goal: Restore marital balance and harmony.
The program also includes some one-to-one time with Mort Fertel. It won’t be a long conversation but the purpose is to hold you accountable for implementing the strategies and taking action.
The Tele-Boot Camp includes audio CD’s, The Complete Marriage Fitness Workbook & Personal Journal, and an autographed copy of Marriage Fitness. There is also a member portal, assessments, homework assignments, and a systematic plan full of actionable steps.
Hopefully, your spouse will participate with you in the Tele-Boot Camp experience, called the Duo Track. However, if you’re spouse resists or is not interested, you can always enroll in the boot camp yourself and avail yourself to the Lone Ranger Track. Remember, change can start with you!
The cost of Tele-Boot Camp is $399 + shipping and handling. You can also purchase this program for $159 in 3 installments.
The Marriage Fitness Home Flex Program – Flexing Muscle to Save Your Marriage
Here, you’re not flexing your physical muscles but emotional ones. There are specific techniques and methods you can employ right now to end the threat of divorce, and live a much more joyful and harmonious married life.
Mort describes the Home Flex program as a “9-Phase interactive multi-sensory relationship-changing self-guided system” that gives you everything you need to transform your relationship.” He is offering an abundance of exercises and suggestions to address virtually every relationship pit fall, such as infidelity, money problems, emotional isolation, etc.
He covers the entire kit and caboodle of overcoming marriage challenges in a unique, refreshing way.
The Marriage Fitness Home Flex virtually contains the same materials that I listed in the Tele-Boot Camp. But the primary reason that you would opt for the Home Flex program instead of the Tele-Boot Camp is because your schedule conflicts with when the boot camp starts.
Other folks outside the US may opt for this program because they may not be able to participate in the tele-seminar phone calls or private phone session.
So Home Flex participants can get the materials through digital download or hard copy via snail mail (which is actually delivered quite fast with next day, priority service).
Marriage Fitness Audio Learning Program – Can You Hear Cupid Playing in the Background?
Those on a tighter budget but still desperately searching for ways to repair a broken or dysfunctional marriage may be happy to learn that Mort offers a Marriage Fitness Audio learning program. Affordably priced at $69.95, you’ll be privy to Mort’s guidance and direction, paving the way to a 4-step marriage fitness plan.
There are plenty of relationship exercises and marital assessments, and an implementation schedule. Your union is likely to strengthen even with just these 5 audios (5.5 + hours of marital education).
Still, this resource is not as comprehensive as the Tele-Boot Camp or Marriage Fitness Home Flex. Moreover, you won’t have direct access to Mort. Still, even one new insight can spur positive change and swing the marital pendulum in a more favorable direction.
Marriage Fitness Review – My Final Determination
Mort Fertel has applied the same principles and strategies he graciously shares to his own marriage and continues to reap the benefits. Moreover, countless other couples have utilized the same methods with similar success.
Even more impressive are the testimonials that he receives from his Lone Ranger Track participants. Here, one spouse was able to foment change in the marriage, even though the other may not have been as predisposed to changing the relationship dynamic.
Aside from spending the day with Mort in a personal coaching session (out of the price range for many), his other products may fit within your budget. His words will strike a responsive chord within you, and once you implement the suggestions, it’s likely that harmony will be reintroduced into the household.
There is a 30-day money back guarantee, but like all purchases, it’s important to read the fine print. Hopefully, you realize tremendous benefits from Mort’s resources and will avail yourself to them for years to come.
Maya Angelou once wrote, “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” So regardless of the current state of your marriage, understand that the Marriage Fitness Program will inspire you to action where you can more readily rediscover the mutual love and emotional connection with your partner that has been absent for too long.
Finally, Dave Meurer, an award winning author and writer once offered this wise gem: “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”
Mort Fertel will also demonstrate how to appreciate such differences, yet still find common ground – another reason why this Marriage Fitness review is so favorable.
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